We had the appointment with the IND today – the lawyer gave us a huge pack of papers to take with us, containing everything they could possibly ask for.
The meeting went really well – the new application is filed, and Patrick got a stamp in his passport with the right to work starting immediately! 
This evening Patrick and I went to a borrel (dutch word meaning sit around drinking and chatting) for Sinterklaas. As mentioned in my previous post this is a Dutch celebration mainly for children, so the drink was really just an opportunity to get together with some friends.
It was thrown by my good friend Martijn, and it was a lovely evening – just what the doctor ordered
Stalker alert!
Patrick and I met the strangest guy last night in one of the bars of Amsterdam. To be fair and honest to journalistic codes of conduct I should divulge that we were a little stoned, so it’s possible that some of the weirdness was exascerbated by our inability to understand the guy.
I’ll eliminiate his name (not sure why I’m protecting his identity), but ‘M’ is a relatively cute young guy who works in a shop we go into in Amsterdam, and he came crashing into us in one of our favourite bars quite late into the evening. To begin with he looked totally sober, and rather energetic, however within the first few minutes I stopped following his chain of thought, which I attributed to my slightly non-sober state, however pretty quickly his actions became more and more excited, and he was getting rather too intimate with both of us (I didn’t find him attractive at all – he’s small and boyish girlish, which is not my speed) and we lost his train of thought almost completely.
Patrick was taking advantage of the situation and his evil sense of humour prompted him to encourage the situation, knowing that I couldn’t extricate myself easily, and he encouraged M just to see me squirm (he’ll pay for that at some later time). It must have taken about 30 minutes (and one tortuous period where Patrick went to the bathroom and left me alone with the psycho) for him to realise that we weren’t really communicating and he finally left…
Thinking back on it both he and his “friend” (in quote marks as we have a slight suspicion that he’s also a hooker, and the ugly friend may well have been paying for the night) had rather large pupils, so I’m pretty sure they were enjoying some sort of pharmaceutical effect, and I do hope they had a good time… not sure how I’ll handle him next time I visit his shop!
Lets just hope he doesn’t know where we live!!!
The wedding pictures have arrived!
Jan Groot took our pictures, and he’s done an amazing job.
The pictures are split over 3 DVD’s – almost 1,000 high definition pictures at about 10mb each, and they’re stunning.
It’s going to take me a while to go through them all, but online galleries will be made, and we’ll have some books bound of the best ones.
Apparently hot guys are checking me out in the gym – Patrick tells me that I’m totally missing it. I’d like to believe that it’s because i’m so wrapped up in being in love with my husband, but I think I’ve probably always been like this – totally clueless when people think I’m attractive – imagine all the dates I’ve been missing out on over the years!!
The day started early for us – the alarm went off at 6.45am, and we were up immediately… After being drilled on the schedule for the last few days I think everyone knew that I wouldn’t stand for tardiness!
Showers were quick, considering there was still a possibility that the gas would be switched off (mercifully Etienne the gas guy was good to his word and the gas stayed on all day), followed by a lovely breakfast put on by Jeltje in the Italian shop downstairs – we included champagne to cure any morning jitters.
Getting into our suits was magical, and we looked soooo cute together. The photographer arrived when we were almost ready and snapped away at us maddly… even getting pictures of my Mum wherever possible (I had to distract her at every opportunity so that she’d act normal – sometimes to dramatically effective results).
We ran around, fixing each other’s clothing and ties, and the only small item which wasn’t fully organised was the flowers – the flower guy thought they were supposed to be ready on Thursday and so hadn’t arranged them, plus we hadn’t bought the white ribbon. Some quick thinking from Mum found a piece of ribbon and the guy put together what we needed really quickly and we had them just a few minutes late.
Fortunately the weather was perfect – clear and bright, so we took the opportunity to do a shoot in the park, surrounded by my parents and Kat & Bella… the lighting was awesome, and the background spectacular;
As we finished the shoot our cars arrived – two black cars pulled up outside the house – black Mercedes S class cars (Patrick’s favourite car of course) to take us to the ceremony. The drivers were professional and perfect.
Arriving at the city hall (the Stopera at Waterlooplein in Amsterdam) we met up with the other witnesses and the registrar Josina, who was wonderful (although had makeup a bit like a drag queen). Josina has a very distinct personality, and creatively inserted that into the ceremony. We had provided some text to read to my parents and the witnesses, which caused a number of tears;
For my parents;
Mum and dad; Your model of a wonderful marriage has been an inspiration to me. Having reached 40 years together is a great example of how working at a relationship, striving for happiness together, developing joint interests and compromising to each other’s desires can deliver a lifetime of joy. The values you taught me, of loving your family and friends, of seeking out pleasure in life’s journey, and of working hard for the things in life worth cherishing have brought me to this place and made me the person I am today. I thank you for the unconditional support you have provided to get me here. I love you, and I’m overjoyed to bring you a son-in-law who will revere your example too.
Witnesses;
Pieter;
The perfect renaissance man – your life and love is an amazing example of a life I strive towards. You have an incredible relationship with Robert, and excel in everything you do. I enjoy our times together – you show me new and interesting sides of life in Amsterdam, and of myself, and I thank you for everything you have shown me, and the things still to be shown. I know you will continue to be a source of encouragement, my supporter and a role model.
Martijn;
Your spirit of exploration of your own life is an inspiration. Like no-one else I know, you enjoy seeking our new parts of yourself and learning about your own abilities, and those of others around you. You see the best in people, and help them to see their own finest qualities, and that is a wonderful gift to give to those around you. I treasure the times we spend together – you help me see my own potential and reach out for it. Thank you for your help in being who I can be.
Kathryn;
You are my oldest friend, and in my heart and mind you are my sister. Over the years we have laughed and cried together, comforted and encouraged each other, and I couldn’t imagine taking any steps in my life without you by my side. You guide me, you support me, and you’re always there when I need you. We live far apart, but are always close together. I love you more than you will ever know.
The story of Patrick and Glen;
It is my personal, and quite romantic, belief that the email/text messages of today will be the love letters of tomorrow just as the hand written missives of yesterday are the romantic basis of movies and books that we enjoy today. My eMail to you are love letters – the love letters of our generation. [Patrick – 20th March 2009]
After the tears dried up somewhat we had to complete the mandatory sections. First the declaration (in Dutch and English) that we agreed to be with each other, followed by the exchange of the rings;
After we had the rings on our fingers (OK, mine was a little tight due to being really warm in that room and in several layers of clothes) we took it in turns to sign the files to Eva Cassidy’s ‘I know you by heart’, including the witnesses signing to confirm they agree to the union, followed by a smash of the hammer to confirm we were married (it’s all about the wood, apparently!)
We were ushered out of the wedding room into the bright clear sunny day at the side of the canal, and released 50 lovely balloons which were a gift from Pieter and Robert, and then Jan went to work again, taking hundreds of pictures, including some spectacular shots on the canals.
While crossing the bridge an old woman commented to Mum that she was very lucky to have two grooms, causing a great laugh from Patrick and a wonderful picture of the of us. This was followed quickly by a plop of bird poop, which of course is a sign of luck and was very welcome.
The two minute walk took about 30 minutes from the Stopera to the Incanto restaurant for lunch, and we had a really wonderful 4 course meal, including a cake from Unlimited Delicious, which was truly magnificent. The guests enjoyed themselves, and it was a great opportunity for everyone to get to know each other.
In particular it was great to see my parents enjoying themselves, and as always they showed themselves to be my biggest supporters and most socially political members of our group – they’re always so much more aware of gay rights than even I am.
The meal was in the private dining room of the restaurant, and started with an amuse bouch of Scallop, then on to a starter of risotto, then a main dish of veal. The finale was the cake of course, and the entire thing was surrounded by lots of wine and champagne.
We finished at about 3pm, letting the guests leave one by one and allowing Patrick and I to finally have a little time by ourselves. We walked from Munt all the way home, enjoying the time in the lovely sunny day to walk hand-in-hand through the streets and across the canals, and the whole length of the park. Along the way total strangers would notice our obvious wedding clothing and clear love for each other and would call out their congratulations – it was really magical, and touched Patrick even more than I as he realised that the Dutch mentality in relation to gay marriage is totally different from the prevailing one in the USA.
The day didn’t end there, as we had a special wedding night planned at the American Hotel. We left home with Kathryn and Bella when they went to the airport at around 6pm and checked into the hotel. As it was our wedding night we’d booked the Mata Hari suite, which was really spectacular. We also had a full moon night, so took some time to walk along the canals before going back to the hotel and enjoying each other’s company until the end of this most special day of my life.
Panic stations!!
Everything was going so well until we left the apartment this lunchtime and found a card through the door telling us that the gas supplier (Liander) would be cutting off our gas supply tomorrow between 8.30am and 4.00pm for emergency work!!!!
A few fraught calls to the number on the card produced little other than frustration, however fortunately we saw the foreman walking in the street (Etienne), and he agreed to move it to Wednesday…. Phew… Hope this is the only panic issue.
Everything seems to have settled down again… although dates have become a little tight for everything to happen.
The lawyer believes that after the wedding the IND will have to immediately stamp hubby’s passport with the right to work, and so has arranged an appointment with them on Monday 7th December. We have to take some further paperwork with us, and of course the marriage certificate. In the meantime the job offer has been made, and they also wanted it to start on the 7th, so we’ve spoken with them and pushed it back a day… lets just hope that the IND don’t make any more problems when we see them at their head office!
While this has been happening I’ve also had a request to go to NYC for a week for work… admittedly I pushed this a little, as I want to go for some pre-Christmas shopping, and of course we still need to pick up more of hubby’s luggage, so I arranged it for the week of 14th December with the weekend before and after. We booked hubby a flight too, so that we could go together and see some of his friends – thinking that the job offer wouldn’t be until January… of course the day after we booked the flight we got the offer dated the 7th! The flight has a ‘no cancelling and no changing’ policy, so we’ve lost €450, but it’s worth it to get hubby into a job he really wants. Unfortunatley this now means that I have to go to NYC for 9 days by myself… 
I’ll miss him terribly, but will get plenty of shopping to make myself feel better!
I had the misfortune of travelling on Thalys for a return journey to Paris this week.
The trip was only marginally cheaper than flying at €200. The initial indication of what I came to eventually see as ‘normal service’ was when I booked online and received an invitation to upgrade to first class for just €8, but which mysteriously morphed into an increase of €85 when I made the change (I quickly changed back). I could also not pick my seat, so was placed several rows away from my travel companion.
The outbound journey was cramped, although fortunately nobody seemed to be sticking to their assigned seating so the distributed allocation wasn’t too much of a problem. The train was filthy, though, and the toilets were disgusting. The train, despite claims of massive speed crawled through much of the trip, taking over 4 hours to get from Amsterdam to Paris – I can drive it in 5!
The bar car was poorly stocked and expensive, and the attendant didn’t once make a visit to the seated area, forcing us to bounce our way through the length of the train balancing hot drinks all the way.
Unfortunately the return was even worse – the same as the outbound, but frustratingly when I tried to connect to the – much advertised – WiFi I was charged €13 and then unable to get anything remotely like a decent bandwidth. After trying for an hour (rebooting, trying different settings, hoping that a high bandwidth user would quit) I sought out the conductor (Albert). He told me that the satelite wasn’t working correctly, which explained my lack of decent connection.
When asking about a refund he told me that it could only be requested in writing and proceeded to give me their head office address!! I complained at this – surely if a company can take payments online it must be possible to handle refunds through a similar channel, or even by phone… Albert was unhelpful and discourteous, and when I told him that the answer was unacceptable he refused to give me the address.
I easily found the number for ThalysNet and called their helpdesk (got cut off on the first attempt) and spoke to Zsen (assume it’s a call centre in China), who took my details and promised a refund within 4 days… so it seems that Albert was not only giving poor service, but was also wrong!
Thalys – never again.
We spoke with an immigration lawyer this morning, and she seems confident that we can lodge an appeal and that after the marriage the 6 month minimum period won’t be valid, so we need to meet her on Wednesday with a copy of the rejection letter and a confirmation that the IND gave approval for the M46v form to allow the marriage. Unfortunately the stadhuis is closed today for a new computer system installing, so hopefully hubby can go and get a confirmation tomorrow.